The Update Blog (or, “Nothing Interesting Happened Today”)
Grammatical Blowjob Update: Krystal, another coworker (which makes for a grand total of 2...2 ‘Crystals’ working with me. Ah-Ah-Ahhh! Insert Count cackling and lightning flashes), has concurred that the word ‘blowjob’ is in fact one word. It began as two separate words that were inevitably spliced together in a way I’m not entirely sure the English language intended.
Evidence Mice Update: upon rereading the book “Coraline”, I am starting to believe that author Neil Gaiman either knows about the Evidence mice or else is a part of their insidious conspiracy. Take into careful consideration, for example, the song sung by the fiendish mice found in the Otherworld:
We have eyes and we have nerveses
We have tails we have teeth
You’ll all get what you deserveses
When we rise from underneath.
This means that either Gaiman is aware of the Evidence mice and is desperately trying to warn us all of their diabolical plans before it’s too late. Or else he is one in their ranks, and this is a warning to all who would dare to cross the Evidence mice’s path. On the plus side, this means Neil Gaiman himself might be dispatched to terminate me, which would constitute him showing up one morning wanting to have tea with me. On the downside, the tea would be promptly followed by a most gruesome demise, probably right before I can ask him to sign some of my copies of his books, or ask him to lick my coffee table.
Soup In The Corridor Update: it’s big, it’s bold, and it’s definitely tomato. Or maybe cream of mushroom...
Couch Update: yep, they’re back in the dumpster. Have been for the last 3 weeks too now. This week it’s a smallish-looking chesterfield with a pattern that vaguely resembles the designs off some of the questionable wicker purses our company has opted to sell.
Today's Lesson: you can try to take the Christians out of the U.S., but you can't take the inherent stupidity out of some Christians. As demonstrated by this brainchild:
http://www.christianexodus.org/index.php?module=PostWrap&page=home
posted by Phillip at 9:00 AM
